


Healing Steps

by crescent_gaia



Series: WinterHawk Freeform [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 12:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescent_gaia/pseuds/crescent_gaia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A trap leads to trust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing Steps

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rivulet027](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/gifts).



> I don't own a bit of the MCU, as much as I wish I did, and this is a work of fanfiction. This is set between AoU and Civil War.

Clint sighed as he woke up, tied in a chair, and thought back about what led him to this point. He blamed the claustrophobia, of everyone being up at the tower, and there being no space to breathe. Part of him didn’t want to acknowledge that he didn’t feel a part of the team, no matter how many times he made up for it, so he took a walk. It wasn’t like anybody was going to miss him, at least not for a good twelve hours, so he tried to relax. He was tied with actual rope, which meant that weird experiments were not in the picture. Those usually came with lying on a gurney and being strapped down with things stronger than rope. His neck itched, probably the injection site, and he tried to relax. As a door opened, he lowered his head to his chest and slowed his breathing, like he was still asleep.

The click of the gun and the cold metal against his forehead made him open his eyes. “Fine, I’m awake,” Clint said. The gun moved away and he lifted his head, staring at the Winter Soldier. Well, that was the name he remembered from what Sam told him. Cap had a different story, of course, but now he was more curious. “Hello.”

The man was looking at him in confusion. “You’re not much.”

“I’m not, unless you want to see me out of the chair with a bow,” Clint says, grinning. “Who are you? Not what are you, but who.”

He blinked in confusion. “I’m – I guess I’m Bucky Barnes.”

“But the other persona feels more comfortable?” Clint smiled as Bucky nodded. “I get that. You’re not the only one in the room who feels like there’s two separate people in one body.”

“How do you know?” Bucky asked. “How can anybody understand it?”

“Was mind controlled by a God. What’s your story?” Clint knew it, of course, but there were always three sides to this story. Cap’s side, the truth, and Bucky’s side. He wanted to know Bucky’s side, especially since the man was in front of him, but he also knew he had to take it slow. There were a thousand questions on his tongue, just like there was with Wanda and Pietro, but trust never came easy. It was the main reason he wasn’t asking to get out of his bindings – make them think they have the upper hand and all questions will be answered, eventually.

“People thought they were Gods, in a way, but just mortal.” Bucky sighed. “From what I remember and the exhibit, I fell off a train and was assumed dead. I would have thought the same thing, but HYDRA found me and… “ He turned, the gun raised and his finger on the trigger. “Why do you care? Why does anybody care?!”

“People who are friends you’ve forgotten still see you as a friend. I’ve got no reason to question their judgment. Why do you think nobody cares? You’re not a villain.”

“I’ve done horrible things,” Bucky said. “I’ve killed.”

“So have I. And I bet the families of the people I’ve killed would say I’m a villain but yet the majority of the world sees me as a hero.” Clint smiled as the gun lowered. “It’s kind of why I want to know. Want to know my story? I was brought up with my brother as a carnie act. He hates my living guts and I will never understand why. I was brainwashed by a God, because he saw me as the weak link, and he was right. I couldn’t put up a fight and, as time wore on when I was with him, it became the question of why would I? When it was over, I had friends who trusted me because they knew that wasn’t me.”

“It’s not the same,” Bucky said. “I… I’m the one who killed Howard Stark.”

“Well… then don’t be friends with Tony.” Clint grinned as that earned him a chuckle. “You were mind controlled during that, right? HYDRA wanted Stark dead, not you.”

“I didn’t even question it.”

“Nobody does,” Clint said. “That’s why called mind control – you can’t question it.” He sighed as his phone rang. “Can you answer that and put it up to my ear? Someone’s looking for me and I want to keep talking to you. That can’t happen if they trace my phone.”

Bucky stared at the jacket, taking the phone out of the pocket and looking at it a long time. He put it back into the jacket before dropping it like a hot potato. He turned and walked off into the darkness of the room they were in.

“Hey!” Clint yelled but there was only a slamming door in response. He sighed as he was alone and waited only twenty minutes before both Cap and Sam were there. He waited until they untied him and shook out the tingling sensation in his arms. “Thanks.”

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“Not talking about it.” Clint grabbed his jacket, putting it on, and feeling the pocket where the cell phone was. He kept up the poker face as he felt a piece of paper there. “Why you two?”

“Long story,” was all Sam said, leading the way out.

“Fair,” Clint muttered, seeing as he wasn’t about to spill what just happened to him either. He let them drive to his apartment outside the tower, insisting he didn’t need an escort up, and went upstairs. After closing and locking the door behind him, he pulled out the piece of paper. It was a phone number. He was about to dial it when he heard a crash in the bedroom. He pulled out his gun and slowly made his way into the other room. He lowered it when he saw Bucky and leaned against the door frame. “You might be moving a bit too fast being in the bedroom.”

Bucky looked up and shrugged, closing the window. “It’s too easy to get into your place.”

“Maybe I designed it that way. At least that window. You hungry?” Clint smiled as he saw a nod, going to the kitchen and getting the oven ready to warm up a frozen pizza. He got out a couple of beers, ignoring the odd look that Bucky gave the can, and putting down a glass if Bucky wanted it. He turned around when he was done and leaned against the counter by the sink. “You did do it right with leaving your number. You didn’t have to come by.”

“I… it.. ” Bucky sighed and tried to form words before saying “It was easier to talk to you than it was anybody else I’ve encountered.”

“Wish I could say it was a secret superpower. It’s more that I like to listen just as much as I like to talk.”

“You don’t judge. Everybody else does, even if they think they’re not, but it shows in their face. You… even with knowing a bit of my past, even with knowing a small bit of what I’ve done, you didn’t judge me. You didn’t shy away from knowing more. You’re the first person to do that, without pity, and I really liked it. That’s why I broke in. Also, you understand what it’s like to not be in control, even though you really want to be.”

“I don’t think it’s my place to judge,” Clint said, opening and taking a sip of beer. “I never think it is. I don’t come from a place of goodness and light, plus I was taught not to cast the first stone.”

“You’re religious?” Bucky asked.

Clint shook his head no. “Just something I heard once as a kid and it made all the sense in the world. So I let it become one of the mottos I live my life by, that’s all.” He sighed. “Would you have come back, if they hadn’t come for me?”

Bucky nods. “I just wanted to make sure that nobody saw me. I… I can’t take Steve right now. I know he means well, but it’s not helping.”

Clint laughed.

“What?” 

“I have a friend like that,” Clint said. “She means well, I know she does, but there are times when I just want to tell her to give up on me. Just walk away and leave me. She won’t, because she’s my best friend, and I think that’s the same way with Cap. He’s not just going to give up on you.”

“Maybe,” Bucky said. “Why do you call him Cap instead of Steve?”

“Habit. We socialize outside of saving the world, but I mostly know and understand him as Cap.”

Bucky grinned. “Thanks.”

“For simply telling you the truth? Odd thing to thank me for.”

“Not a lot of people do it,” Bucky pointed out. “Or they try to sugar coat it or a lot of different things. You just say it and I really like that.”

Clint grinned. “Well, you’re welcome then.”

“I also like the way you grin,” Bucky said and then blushed. “Too much.”

“Nope,” Clint said. “I’m used to fast too.”

Bucky relaxed. “Okay.” The two of them lapsed into quiet, neither sure what to say next, and then the pizza was done. Clint got it out of the oven, cutting it up, and grabbing paper plates to eat off of. They talked a bit more, with Bucky explaining about the mind control and the experiments, and Clint simply listening. Clint asked when he couldn’t understand the more technical parts and didn’t press at the simple answers that Bucky gave. 

When they were done eating, Clint got up to clean up and put away the pizza. He didn’t realize until he turned around and Bucky was right behind him. He moved with the pull as Bucky kissed him, wrapping his arms around Bucky without a second thought. They broke the kiss when they had to breathe and he held tight when Bucky tried to move away. “Don’t,” he whispered.

“I… I shouldn’t have. Too fast again,” Bucky whispered.

“And I said I’m okay with fast,” Clint said quietly, kissing him again. “Food’s away,” he said when they both needed to breathe again. “Bedroom’s the most comfortable place in the house.”

Bucky nodded, letting Clint lead him there, and stared at the bed. He shook his head. “I… I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t saying that we had to have sex, more that this is the most comfortable place in the house if it leads to that. Also, I’m tired,” Clint said, smiling. He took off his shoes, getting into bed, and waited for Bucky to follow. It didn’t take long and he was pulled into a tight hug. He stayed close, falling asleep after Bucky did, and waking up the next day to an empty bed. He sighed, slowly getting up, and grinned as he heard something drop in the kitchen. He got up, going to see what happened, and moved to help to pick up the coffee can. “Nothing spilled. Thought you would have left by now.”

“I – just – didn’t want to be rude,” Bucky said. He moved back as Clint put the coffee pot on and looked sheepish. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Clint said and grinned. “Want breakfast? Cold pizza or something else?”

“Pizza works.” Bucky grinned as he was offered a cold slice and ate it happily. When he was done, the smile slipped off his face. “I shouldn’t stay.”

“You can, if you want, or…” Clint moved, getting something out of a junk drawer, and writing down a number on a piece of paper. He gave the key and paper to Bucky. “Key’s to the door. You can come whenever you want, as nobody comes up with me, not even the close friend I mentioned last night. I’m not here all the time, but you can call and I’ll try to be here as soon as I can be.”

Bucky looked down at the key and number, just nodding. “I, um, thank you.”

Clint grinned. “There’s also clean clothes around, so take what you need, okay? Including the last of the pizza if you want it.” He kissed Bucky’s cheek and went to get into the shower. He came back out to Bucky gone, along with a bit of his clothing, but a note that said thank you. He hoped that he would be seeing more of Bucky in the future, considering he laid all the ground work, and went to the tower, feeling better than he had in a long time. He could only hope that Bucky felt the same.


End file.
